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The Coffee Party Manifesto

The Coffee Party is alarmed that our discourse has been hijacked by Partys named after other Beverages. The Coffee Party is for all the reasonable people, which happens to be correlated with drinking good coffee.

Here is our manifesto:

  1. The Coffee Party has had the privilege to meet people from many different creeds and races, and despises fear-mongering towards any one group.
  2. The Coffee Party also hates xenophobia towards immigrants. We don’t plan to vote for any candidate who first exploited an immigrant for nine years and now wants to deport her.
  3. And ixnay on Yet Another Xenophobia aimed at particular trading partners, falsely blamed for our economic woes. The Coffee Party likes free trade — how else are we going to get our Coffee?
  4. While we’re at it, we don’t want Homophobia or Misogyny either.   
  5. The Coffee Party wishes the tax debate would also discuss whether we are getting our money’s worth. We have a tax-bloated government here at Coffee Party HQ, so why did they cut the one government activity we actually find useful – subways!?#!
  6. Suppose you had to make an agonizing decision whether to endanger the mother of your child by going through with a pregnancy. Pick one: (1) you and the mother should decide yourselves, (2) some Old Fart on a Bench or Legislature should decide for you.  The Coffee Party does not consider this a difficult pick.
  7. The Coffee Party wonders why all candidates from all parties have forgotten to mention that we are still waging war for reasons no longer clear, not to mention still violating civil liberties of both citizens and foreigners?
  8. Speaking of wars, how about ending the War on Drugs, which is so destructive  to our inner cities and to the source countries? (link to Nick Kristof){Wait a minute, we could even tax pot and restore subway service! (see 5) }
  9. Oh yes, Development. Frankly, the candidates are doing so badly on our issues 1 through 8, the Coffee Party is not expecting much from them on Global Development. At this point, we would just ask them not to destroy industries in poor countries with some arbitrary trade policy decision.
  10.   Our country is based on the ideals that ALL “are by nature equally free and independent,” and have “inalienable rights, among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” men and women, blacks and whites, gays and straights, immigrants and natives, Christians and Muslims, Jews and Gentiles, citizens and foreigners, rich and poor. The Coffee Party wants our country back.
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22 Comments

  1. The Coffee Party Progressives agrees with this all, we just want to work on progressive issues too and respond to Tea Party falsehoods! In fact we strongly support international relief, and are willing to promote a variety of causes.

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 3:49 am | Permalink
  2. Jeremy C-H wrote:

    May I post this on my own blog?

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 8:21 am | Permalink
  3. Miro wrote:

    Amen!

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 8:32 am | Permalink
  4. joe wrote:

    not sure this works because tea calms you down whereas coffee makes you wired and aggressive. The Coffee Party Manifesto should therefore just be: BECAUSE I SAID SO!

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 9:02 am | Permalink
  5. William Easterly wrote:

    Jeremy, yes, as long as you link back to the Aid Watch post, thanks for your interest. Bill

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 9:10 am | Permalink
  6. David Zetland wrote:

    I’m in, with a cappuccino!

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 11:39 am | Permalink
  7. Span Ows wrote:

    You’re making a mocha-ree of something! But you may be a bit latte…tomorrow will tell.

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 11:45 am | Permalink
  8. Sina Motamedi wrote:

    here here

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 12:21 pm | Permalink
  9. Word_Bandit wrote:

    This is actually a bona fide movement with a Facebook page and website ….

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
  10. D. Watson wrote:

    I was waiting for the last line to read

    “The Coffee Party wants our country bLack.”

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 12:54 pm | Permalink
  11. Anne Perschel wrote:

    I’m in. I love coffee, having my eyes and mind opened by people with experiences different from my own. I found out about the coffee party from Nick Kristoff and am proud to me a member. I’d also like to buy a mug that says “Proud Member of the Coffee Party – Fighting Fear on all Fronts”
    Let me know when they are available – Dr. Anne Perschel aka @bizshrink

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 2:02 pm | Permalink
  12. ex-Alaska governor wrote:

    Bill Easterly, why do you and the Coffee Party hate America?

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 2:42 pm | Permalink
  13. Colin wrote:

    This Coffee Party sounds pretty libertarian.

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink
  14. Lee wrote:

    @colin – I think the word you are looking for is liberal. Economically liberal, socially liberal, but not totally ideologically disgusted by the concept of governance. Liberal in the reasonable, conventional sense in which it has been used by philosophers for well over 100 years.

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 3:31 pm | Permalink
  15. Dan Kyba wrote:

    Good list. Missing one item – that all citizens have an equally weighted vote.

    fyi: http://www.claremontmckenna.edu/rose/publications/pdf/Rose%20Report%20on%20Redistricting%20and%20Prop%2077%20v13%20report.pdf

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 4:46 pm | Permalink
  16. Marc wrote:

    Agree with just about everything, except, as a state worker, who works with the developmentally disabled, I have to strongly disagree with the idea that there is only one useful government activity… How about child protective services? Environmental Protection? Social Security? Medicare? Banking/corporate/food safety regulation? Some of these services need to be shored up after years of deregulation, but most would agree that these are all worthy government services…

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 11:12 pm | Permalink
  17. john malpas wrote:

    so how many battalions/billions has your party got?

    Posted November 1, 2010 at 11:34 pm | Permalink
  18. Terry Winkle wrote:

    Great title, interesting post! I love to find information like that.

    Posted November 2, 2010 at 4:25 am | Permalink
  19. maya wrote:

    @span ows: Genious!!Luv the way you summed it all up in well what read to me like an awesome line!!

    As for the Coffee Party Manifesto I say:
    ‘Let the church say Amen!!’

    Maya :)

    Posted November 2, 2010 at 3:47 pm | Permalink
  20. GinoPanino wrote:

    I fully support your manifesto; however, let’s just hope nobody starts referring to the Coffee Party as “those CP guys”, if you know what I mean…

    Posted November 5, 2010 at 3:33 pm | Permalink
  21. Jurg Gassmann wrote:

    I’m a committed tea drinker and resent being lumped with the Tea Party crowd, who derive their moniker from an event where perfectly good tea (taxed to pay for a war which had protected them) was dumped in the sea in a typical lose-lose move.

    The only other recognisable “Tea Party” event involves the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Dormouse. I still find it an enormously instructive read, but as that Tea Party took place in Wonderland, I hardly think it has direct application to us. Though I do confess I sometimes wonder…

    Posted November 6, 2010 at 5:49 pm | Permalink
  22. Bill Grant wrote:

    The Coffe Party is an intolertant bunch of people that hate America.

    Posted November 7, 2010 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

5 Trackbacks

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